I left for India from a nation with its flag at half mast....There's a fire station in Madison that I always drive by where you can't help but notice the flag pole out front. The flags on it stand out so vibrantly against the dark building so it's always easy to notice if our country is in mourning that particular day. On the morning I left for my trip, I glanced over as I always do, and for what seemed to be the one hundredth day in a row, the flags lifelessly hung halfway down the pole. I remember being somewhat glad I was leaving the country. With all of the chaos that had been going on, I felt that the rest of the world was possibly safer than here. "This place is falling apart," I disgustingly thought to myself.
We flew from Atlanta to Amsterdam and spent some time touring the city because of our long lay-over. It would be an understatement to say that I fell madly in love with Netherlands. The air there is so cool and clean to breathe, it's like you can't get enough of it. It feels so good filling up your lungs. The people are so friendly, and the shopping is incredible. And you know those few foods on earth that, even if you're being healthy, you just don't give two flips of guilt about eating because they're so good. Let me tell you that I ate a chocolate croissant the size of my face in a bakery there that made it okay for me to go ahead and die after I finished it. It was that good. I was actually upset that it melted so quickly in my mouth. On another high note, my history-loving heart was immediately stolen by the Anne Frank house, and all at once I found myself happily one hundred percent infected with the travel bug. However, Amsterdam in all of its European glory still didn't feel like home. And as I found myself traveling and loving every inch of the world I had never laid eyes on before then, I found even more love in knowing that when it was all over I got to go back to my house, to my home.
Despite my jet lag, I was then ecstatic to hop on the plane in Amsterdam and jump off in Dehli, India, our destination.
FEMINISM
One of the first things I noticed when I arrived in Dehli was a taxi with these words written on the back: "This Taxi Respects Women." (Most things are written in English in India because of their being under English rule for so long. No grandma, I did not learn Bengali while I was there.) I remember thinking, "Well that's good, I guess that just means that the driver is nice to women when they get in the car." However, I quickly found out that this phrase on the back of the taxi referred to the taxi actually stopping if there was a female in the road. How crazy, right? Who wouldn't stop for a human being in the road just because of their gender? But a week prior to our arrival, a ten year old girl had been hit by a bus and actually died from the accident, solely because the driver of the bus would not stop for her because she was female.
Listen, I get it. America has feminist issues. If I was in the same job as a man and did not get paid the same amount, I would be really upset and confused, but while we are pushing ahead to solve more issues like this one, may we also be really proud of our progress. We have a woman running for president for crying out loud! Not so sure she's the best girl we could come up with, but that is about as big an act of feminism as it gets. The reason I want to bring this to attention is to say this: Next time a man holds the door for you, or pulls out your chair, or a waiter asks your drink order before the males out of respect, please notice and appreciate it. It's hard to understand how good we as American women have it until you're in a country where a car won't stop to avoid hitting you just because of your gender.
POLICE
When I got back to Amsterdam, my heart broke as I heard about all that had happened in America while we were away, the largest incident being the Dallas Shooting. I don't know what happened in the incident to spark it because, to be completely honest, I wasn't there (and neither were you). All I know is that I have been taught my whole life to respect authority and be honest with them. However, I also know that in every profession in this world there are twisted employees, and there always will be. That doesn't mean we need to eliminate the entire human race. That doesn't mean that anyone has to right to take out any innocent group of people.
The reason that this incident especially touched my heart is that I realized such a love and honor for the American police while in India. Some Indian girls, caught and forced into the Red Light District, have pretty much only one hope, which is to somehow notify the police. (The Sex Trade of India is "illegal" there believe it or not). Nonetheless, most of their police are so caught up in the trade themselves, they never do anything about it, even if they do get a report or phone call. Sometimes, they pretend to not see the girl when they arrive to search the building, or they just ignore the situation completely. Can you imagine? Picture you get taken in America, and you get to a phone and call the police. You have a long conversation with them, and then they never show up to rescue you. Or they show up and pretend not to see you and leave, and suddenly your last glimpse of hope is obliterated.....I have full faith in our police officers that if I were ever in trouble and could stay on the phone and explain where I was and what was happening, I would be rescued, no question. And so would you. Don't ever take that for granted or disrespect that protection while the rest of the world has to try to survive without it.
_________________________________________________________________________
I'm not writing you all of this to persuade you that America is not as bad as it seems in the news. I do believe we're at war, and I do believe we have large issues we must handle to move forward as a civilization, but I am writing this to tell you that I've been to a place where the police are truly not on the civilians' side--and it is not what you want. It is frightening and unnerving and makes it hard to fall asleep at night. I've also been to a place where women are truly treated like dirt, and it is nothing like our culture.
So, next time you hear of an incident and want to take to Facebook, dogging the country you live in, don't. This culture has told you, screamed at you, that you deserve to be heard. You have to share your two cents on every problem that falls across your path, but God whispers something different. In the book of James, God makes it really clear that he isn't about all the complaining and empty chatter. It's actually where the phrase: Don't just talk the talk, walk the walk, comes from. James talks about how someone as a Christian should go from hearing about an issue, to doing something good in return. Never does he mention, "and in between, share with all of your friends your complaints and how stupid you think the world has become." God knows this one truth about the planet we've been put on: there will always be: an ISIS, lying, cheating, gossip, hard Presidential Elections that divide groups of people, sickness, death, SIN. But hasn't life has always been about the test of what you will do with what has been dealt? Whether it's a country-wide issue or a personal one...did you add to the world's dark chaos and empty chatter, or were you different and making others different, too? Let's appreciate what we've got. Let's appreciate this place.
Let my actions outrun my words. Let my life outrun my song.
Infinite X's and O's,
Claire
Monday, August 8, 2016
Thursday, July 14, 2016
Choices
Dear Reader,
This is a long post, for which I apologize. I vowed to myself when I started this blog a couple of years ago that I would keep my posts short and sweet. However, the more separate stories I wrote while in India, the more I noticed that they all echoed the same message about choices. So I tried my best to listen to the words and stories God wanted me to tell you and to compile them here. Enjoy.
Infinite Xs and Os,
Claire
I love my house. I always have. It's a khaki-colored Craftsman, nestled on a back road in downtown Madison, overlooking Mrs. LouAnn's pond. Over the years, my parents have added their special touches, giving it even more beautiful character. My mom has worked hard planning and planting enchanting gardens that anchor good ole 153 Maple (which our newest dog, Scout, thinks is pretty enchantingly fun to destroy). My dad picked out long, black hurricane shutters that add a sense of beachy security and stability to the place. The large, chunky, front-porch lanterns send a welcoming glow of hello, and the wide front porch swing says, "Come on over here and stay awhile." And no matter where I roam from home, I have a small, metal reminder that jingles on my key chain, whispering that no matter what happens, or how far away I go, I always have a choice to return to this safe, beautiful place.
That place where I sleep in until 10:00 on Saturdays, wake up, throw off my fluffy, warm comforter, and shiver as my feet hit the cold, wood floor. Then I take off, doing the same jump-hop down the stairs I've practiced since I was 6, and swing open the front door to find Tom McKee on his fourth-ish cup of coffee, sitting in a front porch rocker, reading the "paper" on his iPad. He looks up with, "Hey, girl!" and pats the rocker beside him, inviting me to tell him about the highs and lows of everything recent.
That place where I head out for a run, come back, grab a water and crash into one of the leather chairs in my parents' room, underneath the ceiling fan, which I have deemed, after extensive research, the coolest possible place in the house. And every time, my mother walks in, asking me questions I don't have the lung air to respond to quite yet, almost like a dental hygienist asking what your future plans are while she holds a metal toothbrush in your mouth.
That place where I'm just about to catch some shut eye when I see my door crack open with all sorts of light rays coming in, only to see Abbie's grinning face appear in the door crack, waiting on me to say, "Come on in." However, she has never given me the chance, and runs and jumps into my bed to tell me all that's happened in her day.
That place where I promised at age nine I would be the next top baker of the world, as I continued to wreck the kitchen that was my paradise, always doing something like leaving the flour out of the brownies.
So I love that place, that house, as I'm guessing you love yours. Houses hold our memories, dreams, and lessons captive, reminding us that they are the buildings on the Earth that have done the most for us. I don't feel that I have ever taken the shelter my parents give me for granted. I never say anything I don't like about my house, and I remind my parents often of how much I love it; I try to say thank you for everything I've been given. I knew India would probably make me more appreciative for what I have, but I didn't think I'd really be shocked by anything. I've seen poverty throughout my life. My parents have been involved in areas of town people don't dare to go; I'm so glad they drug me along, too, because it kept my head and heart humble. Because of my going to these places, I don't live in a middle class, first world country fairy tale where I ignorantly believe my life is all there is to know. But I do think God laughed at me when I thought I knew the worst poverty could show off.
INDIA
I sat on a school bus in a pool of my own sweat to go pick kids up from the Kolkata trash dump. I actually thought I heard the man incorrectly when he told us "the dump" is where we were picking up the children, but sure enough, we rounded a corner of typical housing and businesses to see a massive trash dump. The bus pulled over, and I watched in utter disbelief as a small boy jumped on the bus exclaiming, "Good Morning!" (in English, mind you) and opened up about half a sandwich bag of dry coffee creamer--his breakfast. I looked at my friend Alyssa's face, which I'm guessing looked the same as mine. We talked about the incident later, and 'Lyss brought up the fact to me that often during the week when we're at school in Birmingham, we go to Target with our other roommate, Abby, and stare at the fridge full of over 15 different choices of coffee creamers. We always joke about getting some ridiculous flavor like Birthday Cake Ice Cream Dreamsickle, but Hazelnut is usually the lucky winner we throw in the cart. You see, I choose everything.
I choose not to eat dry coffee creamer for breakfast. I choose what college I attend. I choose where I will live at college. I choose what I will study there. I choose whether I will throw on a t-shirt and Chacos or dress up for class. I choose what I eat for lunch. I choose my friends. I choose my boyfriend. I choose if I will grab Starbucks or Juice Bar for a pick-me-up; I choose my job; I choose EVERYTHING. But the snake that is poverty has a funny way of wrapping around and around as it gets worse and worse until it is so restrictive and choking to a person that they can't move. They can't choose anything. They get what poverty allows them to barely grasp and they take it.
Another thing I knew about India was that I would be meeting women who had recently left the sex trade, and I would be experiencing an organization that then provided them with good jobs. I didn't know how I would be with this; I just prayed for strength and love.
I didn't have a mere thought of what was coming.
FREESET
We arrived at what looked like every other city street in India, and went into a four-story building to meet the man and woman who started the organization Freeset. We sat down with coffees and teas in big comfy chairs in a cool room, and as I began to get about the most comfortable I had been in India, my heart began to grow more and more uncomfortable as I listened to the words the founders began to say. Less than a mile from where we sat was one of the largest red light districts in the world. My selfish, worst-case-scenario thought was that maybe I should send Tom McKee a dropped pin just in case an incident from the movie Taken began to play out. I felt unsafe and I couldn't believe we were so close to "The Line," what the Indian people call the district. However, the founders explained to us that in order to reach the most women possible, they needed to put their organization in the dead center of it all. They needed to be these women's neighbors and friends, and hopefully, one day, their work managers. The hairs stood up on my arms as they told us that the building where we were sitting had been used by the Sonagachi (the people who keep the red light district going) for all sorts of evil. When Freeset began remodeling the space, they even found an illegal abortion clinic behind a wall. I got that horrible, raw, stinging feeling in the back of my throat and in my nose as I tried to hold back tears. Tears came anyway. And just when I thought my heart had been pricked and prodded and stabbed enough with upsetting emotion I could not control--Nina walked in.
Nina looked like a sweet, southern grandma who used too much butter in her recipes, except she was Indian. She had this certain toughness about her. Maybe it was her tone or the way she held herself. I couldn't understand a word she said because she only spoke Bengali, so one of the founders translated her story for us. I think this made it worse, too, because I watched Nina struggle through a few Benglai words, trying to fight the tears, and I desperately wondered what she had just said, trying to come up with maybe what it was in my head before the man translated it. And every single time, what the man translated for us was so much worse than what I had guessed. I want to share Nina's story with you, and I only pray that I do her the justice she has deserved for a very long time.
Nina was born in Pakistan which went through a civil war when she was a child and split. The area she is from is Bangladesh today. She and her family were placed in a refugee camp during the war. While in the camp, a woman befriended Nina and offered her a job as a maid in India. With her family already in poverty, they decided this was the best decision for her future. Nina told us that she has forgotten most of the trip from the refugee camp to India. However, she recalls that when she arrived in Kolkata, she was given a Coca Cola. Nina, being a small-village girl, had never had a Coke before, and therefore did not notice that it probably tasted funny because it was heavily drugged. The next morning she woke up in a room with two men she had never seen. She quickly realized that within 24 hours, she had gone from a refugee camp survivor to the newest addition to one of the largest red light districts in the world. For the next many years Nina would live on The Line and would eventually become an alcoholic to try to numb the pain that was her life.
When Freeset was introduced to Nina, she took the chance and got a job there. She was one of the first 20 women who chose to work for Freeset and come off The Line. Now she is one of their managers and is involved in the planning of new locations for the organization. She returned to Bangladesh to try and find her family once she was safe in Freeset, but found that by the time she returned, they had all passed away. Not only did Satan take most everything from her, but he also took her time with her family. For women like Nina, poverty doesn't give them a choice. Poverty tells them that to provide for themselves, for their families, they can't move from where they are. But God speaks freedom in choice.
NOW
So what can we do? Well, for starters, Freeset needs more business from the United States. Whether it is birthday or Christmas presents, or your company or sorority is ordering tshirts, log on to freesetusa.com to give more women the decision to choose true life. The more we buy, the more freedom can be given.
I pray that my words touched you in some way. If you can take some piece of what I took from India--take this. You and I, we get to choose. What will you do with your choices? Will you use them for good? We get to choose most everything. We weren't given that right for nothing. No, you and I were trusted with the freedom of choice so that we would make the right ones. Choose good. Choose freedom. Live a life you and God are gonna be really proud to look back on someday.
This is a long post, for which I apologize. I vowed to myself when I started this blog a couple of years ago that I would keep my posts short and sweet. However, the more separate stories I wrote while in India, the more I noticed that they all echoed the same message about choices. So I tried my best to listen to the words and stories God wanted me to tell you and to compile them here. Enjoy.
Infinite Xs and Os,
Claire
CHOICES
That place where I sleep in until 10:00 on Saturdays, wake up, throw off my fluffy, warm comforter, and shiver as my feet hit the cold, wood floor. Then I take off, doing the same jump-hop down the stairs I've practiced since I was 6, and swing open the front door to find Tom McKee on his fourth-ish cup of coffee, sitting in a front porch rocker, reading the "paper" on his iPad. He looks up with, "Hey, girl!" and pats the rocker beside him, inviting me to tell him about the highs and lows of everything recent.
That place where I head out for a run, come back, grab a water and crash into one of the leather chairs in my parents' room, underneath the ceiling fan, which I have deemed, after extensive research, the coolest possible place in the house. And every time, my mother walks in, asking me questions I don't have the lung air to respond to quite yet, almost like a dental hygienist asking what your future plans are while she holds a metal toothbrush in your mouth.
That place where I'm just about to catch some shut eye when I see my door crack open with all sorts of light rays coming in, only to see Abbie's grinning face appear in the door crack, waiting on me to say, "Come on in." However, she has never given me the chance, and runs and jumps into my bed to tell me all that's happened in her day.
That place where I promised at age nine I would be the next top baker of the world, as I continued to wreck the kitchen that was my paradise, always doing something like leaving the flour out of the brownies.
So I love that place, that house, as I'm guessing you love yours. Houses hold our memories, dreams, and lessons captive, reminding us that they are the buildings on the Earth that have done the most for us. I don't feel that I have ever taken the shelter my parents give me for granted. I never say anything I don't like about my house, and I remind my parents often of how much I love it; I try to say thank you for everything I've been given. I knew India would probably make me more appreciative for what I have, but I didn't think I'd really be shocked by anything. I've seen poverty throughout my life. My parents have been involved in areas of town people don't dare to go; I'm so glad they drug me along, too, because it kept my head and heart humble. Because of my going to these places, I don't live in a middle class, first world country fairy tale where I ignorantly believe my life is all there is to know. But I do think God laughed at me when I thought I knew the worst poverty could show off.
INDIA
I sat on a school bus in a pool of my own sweat to go pick kids up from the Kolkata trash dump. I actually thought I heard the man incorrectly when he told us "the dump" is where we were picking up the children, but sure enough, we rounded a corner of typical housing and businesses to see a massive trash dump. The bus pulled over, and I watched in utter disbelief as a small boy jumped on the bus exclaiming, "Good Morning!" (in English, mind you) and opened up about half a sandwich bag of dry coffee creamer--his breakfast. I looked at my friend Alyssa's face, which I'm guessing looked the same as mine. We talked about the incident later, and 'Lyss brought up the fact to me that often during the week when we're at school in Birmingham, we go to Target with our other roommate, Abby, and stare at the fridge full of over 15 different choices of coffee creamers. We always joke about getting some ridiculous flavor like Birthday Cake Ice Cream Dreamsickle, but Hazelnut is usually the lucky winner we throw in the cart. You see, I choose everything.
I choose not to eat dry coffee creamer for breakfast. I choose what college I attend. I choose where I will live at college. I choose what I will study there. I choose whether I will throw on a t-shirt and Chacos or dress up for class. I choose what I eat for lunch. I choose my friends. I choose my boyfriend. I choose if I will grab Starbucks or Juice Bar for a pick-me-up; I choose my job; I choose EVERYTHING. But the snake that is poverty has a funny way of wrapping around and around as it gets worse and worse until it is so restrictive and choking to a person that they can't move. They can't choose anything. They get what poverty allows them to barely grasp and they take it.
Another thing I knew about India was that I would be meeting women who had recently left the sex trade, and I would be experiencing an organization that then provided them with good jobs. I didn't know how I would be with this; I just prayed for strength and love.
I didn't have a mere thought of what was coming.
FREESET
We arrived at what looked like every other city street in India, and went into a four-story building to meet the man and woman who started the organization Freeset. We sat down with coffees and teas in big comfy chairs in a cool room, and as I began to get about the most comfortable I had been in India, my heart began to grow more and more uncomfortable as I listened to the words the founders began to say. Less than a mile from where we sat was one of the largest red light districts in the world. My selfish, worst-case-scenario thought was that maybe I should send Tom McKee a dropped pin just in case an incident from the movie Taken began to play out. I felt unsafe and I couldn't believe we were so close to "The Line," what the Indian people call the district. However, the founders explained to us that in order to reach the most women possible, they needed to put their organization in the dead center of it all. They needed to be these women's neighbors and friends, and hopefully, one day, their work managers. The hairs stood up on my arms as they told us that the building where we were sitting had been used by the Sonagachi (the people who keep the red light district going) for all sorts of evil. When Freeset began remodeling the space, they even found an illegal abortion clinic behind a wall. I got that horrible, raw, stinging feeling in the back of my throat and in my nose as I tried to hold back tears. Tears came anyway. And just when I thought my heart had been pricked and prodded and stabbed enough with upsetting emotion I could not control--Nina walked in.
Nina looked like a sweet, southern grandma who used too much butter in her recipes, except she was Indian. She had this certain toughness about her. Maybe it was her tone or the way she held herself. I couldn't understand a word she said because she only spoke Bengali, so one of the founders translated her story for us. I think this made it worse, too, because I watched Nina struggle through a few Benglai words, trying to fight the tears, and I desperately wondered what she had just said, trying to come up with maybe what it was in my head before the man translated it. And every single time, what the man translated for us was so much worse than what I had guessed. I want to share Nina's story with you, and I only pray that I do her the justice she has deserved for a very long time.
Nina was born in Pakistan which went through a civil war when she was a child and split. The area she is from is Bangladesh today. She and her family were placed in a refugee camp during the war. While in the camp, a woman befriended Nina and offered her a job as a maid in India. With her family already in poverty, they decided this was the best decision for her future. Nina told us that she has forgotten most of the trip from the refugee camp to India. However, she recalls that when she arrived in Kolkata, she was given a Coca Cola. Nina, being a small-village girl, had never had a Coke before, and therefore did not notice that it probably tasted funny because it was heavily drugged. The next morning she woke up in a room with two men she had never seen. She quickly realized that within 24 hours, she had gone from a refugee camp survivor to the newest addition to one of the largest red light districts in the world. For the next many years Nina would live on The Line and would eventually become an alcoholic to try to numb the pain that was her life.
When Freeset was introduced to Nina, she took the chance and got a job there. She was one of the first 20 women who chose to work for Freeset and come off The Line. Now she is one of their managers and is involved in the planning of new locations for the organization. She returned to Bangladesh to try and find her family once she was safe in Freeset, but found that by the time she returned, they had all passed away. Not only did Satan take most everything from her, but he also took her time with her family. For women like Nina, poverty doesn't give them a choice. Poverty tells them that to provide for themselves, for their families, they can't move from where they are. But God speaks freedom in choice.
NOW
So what can we do? Well, for starters, Freeset needs more business from the United States. Whether it is birthday or Christmas presents, or your company or sorority is ordering tshirts, log on to freesetusa.com to give more women the decision to choose true life. The more we buy, the more freedom can be given.
I pray that my words touched you in some way. If you can take some piece of what I took from India--take this. You and I, we get to choose. What will you do with your choices? Will you use them for good? We get to choose most everything. We weren't given that right for nothing. No, you and I were trusted with the freedom of choice so that we would make the right ones. Choose good. Choose freedom. Live a life you and God are gonna be really proud to look back on someday.
Thursday, March 10, 2016
When God Gives You More Than You Can Handle (and He will)
In the middle of a busy week the last thing I thought was coming was a phone call that my dad was in the hospital from a bicycle accident. I looked up, angrily crying at God and asked, "Why?" And while this hasn't been the worst time of my life, its hasn't been easy. But it did get me thinking about my worst time.
What was the worst time of your life? What was the day, the experience, the year, or the person that made you look up, angrily shaking your fist at God and ask, "What are you doing? Why me?" Maybe it was a time from your childhood, maybe it was a person that was a horrible influence on you, or maybe you're going through an awful experience right now. Despite when this time was or will be for you, there is one steady truth about the worst time in our lives--we all have one.
I don't like to think about mine, and when I do remember it, when it sneaks up on my train of thought during the day, I immediately think two things: 1. I think about how awful it was/how much it hurt me. 2. I ask myself: How in the world did I get through that? And looking back, I know the answer, which is that God of course helped me through it and was holding me up the whole time. However, the worst time of my life is pretty far removed from me now, and I recently fell into a trap of thinking nothing bad would ever knock at my door again. It didn't help that I found a quote that I became quickly obsessed with that fed me a lie about bad times in life.
I'm embarrassed to tell you that the quote I am about to share is ironically one that I pinned on one of my Pinterest boards a few short months ago. I found such comfort in it. I loved it. I remembered it easily and would go back to it all the time like a Bible verse. It made me feel like this type of armor was around me, as if I were completely untouchable. I felt strong and happy, but the promise made through this quote is unfortunately a very empty one. So, here it is:
Isn't it great? It's empowering, beautiful, and promises such a bright and wonderful future. Here's the kicker: I went to a women's conference earlier this year and the speaker basically called BS on this quote, and I am too.
Throughout the history of the Bible, the history of the world, and even of history of my own life this quote is far from the truth.
Do you think that Abraham, ready to sacrifice Isaac, looked up to the heavens, knife in hand, and said, "Hey Lord, thanks for not pushing me too far on this one." ??? I'm going to guess probably not.
Do you think that Job, covered in bloody blisters, alone, homeless, "abandoned by God," being tortured by Satan, asked God for just a couple more sores because he knew he hadn't had enough??? I'm going to say no again.
When I was in my darkest, most empty place, I can tell you with utmost honesty and confidence that I did not look up and say, "Thank you God for giving me just enough that I can handle."
Now, this moment is where a lot of Christians give up. It's where I did. At nine years old, during the worst time of my life, I could not fathom a God who "loved me" yet still let me feel so much loneliness and pain. People often ask these same questions about other awful things such as: "Why does God let horrible things happen?" "What kind of God allows things like ISIS and 9/11, poverty and slavery?" These questions that so many of us ask and mourn are the same ones that make the quote above so, so terribly incorrect. God WILL allow you to get way more than you can handle, He always has and he always will. However, the moments when you've been given too much, and you hit your knees, are the same moments God is waiting for you to come to him with all your baggage and problems. God had to let evil into this world so that you would lean on him, genuinely. He created a God-shaped hole within you, so that when nothing else in this world filled it, He could.
"God will never give you anything you can't handle, without HIM."
When you're about to give up, know there is a God who never will. When you can't deal with what's ahead, know there is a God that is completely able to tackle anything you've got. Go tackle life, with God.
infinite X's and O's.
Claire
What was the worst time of your life? What was the day, the experience, the year, or the person that made you look up, angrily shaking your fist at God and ask, "What are you doing? Why me?" Maybe it was a time from your childhood, maybe it was a person that was a horrible influence on you, or maybe you're going through an awful experience right now. Despite when this time was or will be for you, there is one steady truth about the worst time in our lives--we all have one.
I don't like to think about mine, and when I do remember it, when it sneaks up on my train of thought during the day, I immediately think two things: 1. I think about how awful it was/how much it hurt me. 2. I ask myself: How in the world did I get through that? And looking back, I know the answer, which is that God of course helped me through it and was holding me up the whole time. However, the worst time of my life is pretty far removed from me now, and I recently fell into a trap of thinking nothing bad would ever knock at my door again. It didn't help that I found a quote that I became quickly obsessed with that fed me a lie about bad times in life.
I'm embarrassed to tell you that the quote I am about to share is ironically one that I pinned on one of my Pinterest boards a few short months ago. I found such comfort in it. I loved it. I remembered it easily and would go back to it all the time like a Bible verse. It made me feel like this type of armor was around me, as if I were completely untouchable. I felt strong and happy, but the promise made through this quote is unfortunately a very empty one. So, here it is:
"God will never give you anything you can't handle."
Isn't it great? It's empowering, beautiful, and promises such a bright and wonderful future. Here's the kicker: I went to a women's conference earlier this year and the speaker basically called BS on this quote, and I am too.
Throughout the history of the Bible, the history of the world, and even of history of my own life this quote is far from the truth.
Do you think that Abraham, ready to sacrifice Isaac, looked up to the heavens, knife in hand, and said, "Hey Lord, thanks for not pushing me too far on this one." ??? I'm going to guess probably not.
Do you think that Job, covered in bloody blisters, alone, homeless, "abandoned by God," being tortured by Satan, asked God for just a couple more sores because he knew he hadn't had enough??? I'm going to say no again.
When I was in my darkest, most empty place, I can tell you with utmost honesty and confidence that I did not look up and say, "Thank you God for giving me just enough that I can handle."
Now, this moment is where a lot of Christians give up. It's where I did. At nine years old, during the worst time of my life, I could not fathom a God who "loved me" yet still let me feel so much loneliness and pain. People often ask these same questions about other awful things such as: "Why does God let horrible things happen?" "What kind of God allows things like ISIS and 9/11, poverty and slavery?" These questions that so many of us ask and mourn are the same ones that make the quote above so, so terribly incorrect. God WILL allow you to get way more than you can handle, He always has and he always will. However, the moments when you've been given too much, and you hit your knees, are the same moments God is waiting for you to come to him with all your baggage and problems. God had to let evil into this world so that you would lean on him, genuinely. He created a God-shaped hole within you, so that when nothing else in this world filled it, He could.
"God will never give you anything you can't handle, without HIM."
When you're about to give up, know there is a God who never will. When you can't deal with what's ahead, know there is a God that is completely able to tackle anything you've got. Go tackle life, with God.
infinite X's and O's.
Claire
Monday, December 28, 2015
Fear Not : What's up, 2016?
What have you feared lately? I know for me, at the end of a busy
semester, there is a lot I have been fearful about. I have feared how I
finished out the semester with grades. I have been fearful of even
thinking of all of the packing I needed to do to haul all of my things
back home for Christmas. I've feared the idea that the real world is
getting closer and closer, and I'm not sure what exactly I'm going to
do. Then there are the bigger fears that far outweigh my packing list
and report card, fears like: ISIS, the presidential election, World War
III? So how in the world am I supposed to screw a lid on the jar of all
my fears? Especially during this busy time of year, how do you and I
live joyfully, without being scared of the future?
For me, I have learned through this past year that I actually struggle with fear more than I realized. However, as I began to understand what a worrier I am, I also learned of how to go forward without letting my fears stop me from the living the life I was meant to live. When I am going through a difficult time, I usually make myself think of all the times in the past that the Lord has pulled me through or out of a situation and used that situation for good. It helps me so, so much to focus on God's faithfulness in my times of doubt. It equips me to truly understand that if God has been by my side every time I have questioned or doubted my situation before, why would He not do the same now?
As I was thinking of how much this exercise has helped me this year, I couldn't help but think of a story that had so much room for fear, yet it is now known as the greatest story you and I know--The Christmas Story. Now, don't roll your eyes too quickly. Yes, I know you've heard it a hundred times. To which I would like you to know: So have I. And yes, I know during this time of year you've heard it an extra two hundred times. And to that thought of yours I would like you to know: I feel your pain. But there is something so crucial about the Christmas story that does not get told enough, a part of the story that will make you understand why getting rid of fear should be your New Year's resolution for 2016 and for every year after that.
Take the Christmas story that you know oh so well, and let's go back 400 years before Jesus was born, in the end of the Old Testament. The Lord promised the Jewish people, who were living in a corrupt world much like ours today, a Messiah to come and save their lives from the darkness and sin of the world. Can you imagine? God speaking to a group of people and telling them not worry because he is sending a man, his only son, to save them from every piece of sin in the world. I can imagine those scared, fearful Jews were very relieved and excited, but then, picture this--Those same people wait 400 hundred years before God speaks to them again and the promised Messiah is sent to Earth. FOUR HUNDRED YEARS!! That is four generations of the world getting worse and worse and worse, as people fear more and more and more. If God promised you something, and then kept silent for four hundred years after you have already died and gone to deliver His promise, wouldn't you be possibly even more fearful than before?
The story gets worse for the Jewish people....If God promised you a man to save the world, what kind of man would you picture? I would hope that if it was just one man coming to save this horrible world, he would be a big, strong, warrior-like man riding a horse down from the clouds with lightening bolts in his hands. I feel like that's about what it would take to intimidate and change this dirt wad, and I'm pretty sure that's what most of the Jews at that time were hoping for as well. However, it is very far from what they received. Their Messiah, their superhero, their warrior with all the power in the world, was born a baby to parents in a cave-like stable in a horse trough. Wouldn't you be a little concerned with the God you put your every hope in after that action? Wouldn't you be fearful of your future and the world's future after seeing this part of God's plan? I know I would.
Luckily for you and me, we know the Christmas Story, we know that that little baby did save the world. The four hundred years of silence before he was born is just what we know from a sentence we read, but I don't believe that we really understand it. That small part of the Christmas story means ginormous waves of peace for the life you're living and will continue to live. If God could wait four hundred years for an already-bad world to get worse, then send a baby to save every person in it, why would He not pull you through now? Why would He not plan a future for you as amazing as Jesus'? Fear Not in 2016.
XX,
Claire
For me, I have learned through this past year that I actually struggle with fear more than I realized. However, as I began to understand what a worrier I am, I also learned of how to go forward without letting my fears stop me from the living the life I was meant to live. When I am going through a difficult time, I usually make myself think of all the times in the past that the Lord has pulled me through or out of a situation and used that situation for good. It helps me so, so much to focus on God's faithfulness in my times of doubt. It equips me to truly understand that if God has been by my side every time I have questioned or doubted my situation before, why would He not do the same now?
As I was thinking of how much this exercise has helped me this year, I couldn't help but think of a story that had so much room for fear, yet it is now known as the greatest story you and I know--The Christmas Story. Now, don't roll your eyes too quickly. Yes, I know you've heard it a hundred times. To which I would like you to know: So have I. And yes, I know during this time of year you've heard it an extra two hundred times. And to that thought of yours I would like you to know: I feel your pain. But there is something so crucial about the Christmas story that does not get told enough, a part of the story that will make you understand why getting rid of fear should be your New Year's resolution for 2016 and for every year after that.
Take the Christmas story that you know oh so well, and let's go back 400 years before Jesus was born, in the end of the Old Testament. The Lord promised the Jewish people, who were living in a corrupt world much like ours today, a Messiah to come and save their lives from the darkness and sin of the world. Can you imagine? God speaking to a group of people and telling them not worry because he is sending a man, his only son, to save them from every piece of sin in the world. I can imagine those scared, fearful Jews were very relieved and excited, but then, picture this--Those same people wait 400 hundred years before God speaks to them again and the promised Messiah is sent to Earth. FOUR HUNDRED YEARS!! That is four generations of the world getting worse and worse and worse, as people fear more and more and more. If God promised you something, and then kept silent for four hundred years after you have already died and gone to deliver His promise, wouldn't you be possibly even more fearful than before?
The story gets worse for the Jewish people....If God promised you a man to save the world, what kind of man would you picture? I would hope that if it was just one man coming to save this horrible world, he would be a big, strong, warrior-like man riding a horse down from the clouds with lightening bolts in his hands. I feel like that's about what it would take to intimidate and change this dirt wad, and I'm pretty sure that's what most of the Jews at that time were hoping for as well. However, it is very far from what they received. Their Messiah, their superhero, their warrior with all the power in the world, was born a baby to parents in a cave-like stable in a horse trough. Wouldn't you be a little concerned with the God you put your every hope in after that action? Wouldn't you be fearful of your future and the world's future after seeing this part of God's plan? I know I would.
Luckily for you and me, we know the Christmas Story, we know that that little baby did save the world. The four hundred years of silence before he was born is just what we know from a sentence we read, but I don't believe that we really understand it. That small part of the Christmas story means ginormous waves of peace for the life you're living and will continue to live. If God could wait four hundred years for an already-bad world to get worse, then send a baby to save every person in it, why would He not pull you through now? Why would He not plan a future for you as amazing as Jesus'? Fear Not in 2016.
XX,
Claire
Tuesday, July 21, 2015
Five Lessons Nancy Drew Taught Me Best
1. Get a Clue-Then use it.
"not many girls would have used their wits the way you did." -about Nancy
Here's a wake up call: you're a living person and you live in a world that is changing every day. Know what's going on around you. Be brainy! Care about your world, your grades, your future. No one thinks dumb girls are cute, except even dumber boys. The world is begging for people who are passionate to be alive.
2. Be Brave.
"I don't care if it's fires, earthquakes, or Mr. Valdes and his gang of ghosts." -Nancy
Nancy definitely knew how to hike up her skirt and tough it out. So what happened to us not taking chances and sitting on the last row seats on the roller coaster? BORING. It's time to go after your dreams, stand up for yourself, and step out of the "norm" to achieve what you've always wanted.
3. Sometimes, Break some Rules.
"No trespassing? Pfft." -Nancy
KEYWORD: SOMETIMES. Was it legal to climb a Birmingham billboard to see the cityscape that took my breath away? Probably not. Was I super careful, and was it amazing? Absolutely. I thought it added some needed flavor to the recipe that is my life.
4. Be mysterious.
"Do be mysterious. It always keeps them coming back for more." -Nancy
Here's the lesson that our world needs more than ever. Don't annoy people with every detail of your life. More than likely, they don't care. Keep some things, including your skin, to yourself. People, especially men, will want to figure out what makes you tick. Leaving them always returning for more.
5. Don't Choose the "Really Good Guy." Choose the Right Guy.
"A knight in shining armor never did nothing for nobody. He never fought. A knight in dented, scraped armor, now that's what you want." -Nancy
I think we as girls have begun to put way too much pressure on guys these days. We want a guy who will never hurt our feelings, will understand everything we want, and will always be all happy go-lucky, never making a mistake. The truth: boys are human just like you. The key is knowing that the only person who will never let you down and never hurt you is God. The man in your life will hurt your feelings, he won't understand you sometimes, and he will make mistakes. And guess what? So. Will. You. There is no "perfect guy" out there, but there is a perfect guy for you. Ask God to reveal him to you in His timing, and wait patiently in your own beat-up armor for him to come along.
I hope these help your life like they have helped mine. Go dust off one of Nancy's stories and refresh your memory with what a great gal she was and still is.
XX,
Claire (and Nancy)
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
Why Did God Make YOU + Why Does He Let Bad Things Happen? (explained through a puppy dog)
Meet Scout, our nine week old lab/border collie mix. She is every bit as cuddly as she is wild. She is: smart, unpredictable, and delightfully funny. Her personality has arrived and she is bold and loud and even intimidates our 11 year old lab, Maddie. Every night everyone in our family fights to be the one to put her in her crate to sleep, and the next morning, we fight to be the one to wake her up. She is so fun, sweet, and crazy. She is always so happy to see each one of our family members every time we see her, and she licks us all up one side and down the other. So what does this bundle of joy/black fur have to do with why God made you or why He allows bad things to happen?Well, to start, I’ve always struggled with these two questions, and the best analogy I can figure up to explain an answer to these difficult dilemmas is to use my pet—my dog, Scout.
To give you an answer, we first have to rewind and go back to before the world was created and before Adam and Eve. Can you imagine how lonely God was? This huge guy with power greater than you can imagine, just sitting in the heavens with no one to love, and no one to love him back. So he finally decides to make humans and the world, but he has another choice to make. He could design humans to act like robots to all of his commands, doing whatever he said, but God knew this wouldn’t give Him true love, and he was hungry for real, genuine affection.
So, here’s where the dog comes in. Would you want a dog that did every single thing you said? When you said “love me,” it would lick you, and when you said “sit down” it would sit. No! That is so boring, and while the dog is obeying your every command, you never get genuine love. You would never come home to your dog running up to you, being so happy to see you or laughing at it doing some unexpected gesture. It would be a robot, and it would have no personality of its own. That is why we pick real dogs over robot dogs, and that is why God made you and me with a choice to love Him. He didn’t want robot humans, he wanted humans who, given the choice, would either choose to love Him, or not, but at least the ones who loved Him, would really, genuinely, adore Him.
Here’s where free will comes in. Without free will, there’s no genuine love. I’ve sometimes thought, “Well, why did there have to be the Tree of Life in the garden of Eden? Why couldn’t it just have been perfect?” Because, perfect is not genuine. My puppy? Yeah, she is nowhere near perfect: she pees on the carpet, chews holes in my Frye boots, and de-limbed Miss Kitty’s left front paw (my stuffed animal from when I was four—NO JUDGING!!). But guess what, I still love Scout. I would never abandon her, because she disobeyed. That is so cruel. (Somebody call PETA) This is why there has always had to be a choice. From the very beginning, there always had to be a piece of bad fruit and an awful snake. God knew Satan and evil had to be allowed on Earth so that we would genuinely, with our whole hearts, want Him.
And evil makes life hard, and it sucks, but if you believe in loving the one who created you, died for you, and made a mansion with your name on it in a place where you can live without evil for eternity..isn’t it all worth it? Shouldn’t we be telling more people about puppy dogs, love, and the creator of the universe?
Woof, Woof,
XX,
Scout and Claire
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
Blog Post Ten: I Think I Left My Elbow Grease at Spring Break (Dealing with the Last Few Weeks)
I drag myself out of bed for my eight a.m. class and trip, yet again, over my spring break suitcase (still yet to be taken home) with a bathing suit hanging out. I feel literal tears coming on as reminisce on that heavenly week as an islander, now trapped in a rain jacket, slaving to the master of higher education. I chuckle to myself as I look in the mirror at my bed head and my racoon eyes from last night's 'scara, which I was too lazy to remove. I also laugh to myself at the thought I had before Spring Break which was that after that week of sweet freedom I would have so much more energy, and elbow grease, since I could see the finish line ahead of me. Well, I'm back from Spring Break, and from Easter, and the only thing I can see on this race to summer is the millions of winds in front of me consisting of due dates and projects galore. My only motivation recently has been: "Holy mess, this is due tomorrow." Do you feel me? The glamor of new everything (new dorm room, new city, new teachers, new friends, new places) has been distorted, leaving me camped out in my bed, eating a box of Samoas, watching a Netflix show I swore to myself I would turn off an hour ago.
Now, what's a girl to do?? I didn't work this hard to give up now?! I didn't fight for those grades to half-heartedly finish and end with an average letter at the top of my final grade sheet. No! It's time to get ourselves in gear and finish strong. Thank heavens my mother drilled into me: "You are what you read," because I have recently been finishing: How to be a Hepburn in a Hilton World (an amazing read, really and truly) and came across some motivational people to inspire and whip me into the girl I need to be. I hope it does the same for you (male or female).
Enjoy:
1. Venus and Serena Williams:
These two dynamic sisters have taken the tennis world by storm. What you may not know about them is that they started, literally, from the bottom. Raised in one of the most violent neighborhoods in the country, Compton, these two girls have shown the world that hard work and determination can turn anyone successful. At an early age, their sister was killed by a gang member in South LA. Although, fighting all odds these two sisters decided to change their stories by making their goals, realities. Practicing day and night to achieve their dreams.
2. Audrey Hepburn
My obsession continues, readers. I know you've heard me mention this one's name multiple times. Although, what intrigues me so much about Audrey is her motivational story. Before this beauty was dropping jaws and winning Grammys, she was surviving World War II in her small Dutch village, overrun by Nazis. Not only did she hide out for weeks under her kitchen table, but was also only accompanied by her mother during this time since her father chose to support Hitler, taking all of their family savings and leaving Audrey and her mother behind. Instead of getting bitter about her situation, Audrey decided to use her hardships for ammunition in her life. After her and her mother escaped and moved to London, Audrey pushed herself hard to grace the London ballet stage where she ended up being picked up by a Hollywood manager. My favorite quote by Audrey for when I feel like I can not take another step is: "I worked my ass off."
3. Ivanka Trump
I know what you're thinking. And, yes, I do know Ivanka Trump is. Although, what you might not know about this hotel heiress is her incredible work ethic despite the money her family has. She had this to say when a TV hostess joked about her father's money: "I work 13-hour days for my money...I have a mortgage you know. I think we are totally different individuals..If I were to go off the rails and become this party kid, I would not be able to afford my lifestyle. I've never had a sense of entitlement. I saw how hard my father worked for his money and it was always made very clear to me that things wouldn't just be given to me."
So, here's the deal. Whether you started with nothing, or started with it all, isn't it time to finish strong? I once heard a quote that said "Whatever gardens you invest time and work into, can always be harvested at some time down the road--always." So as this school year comes to a close, let's give it all we've got. Then, look back, completely satisfied with the way we finished another chapter of our lives.
XX,
Claire
Now, what's a girl to do?? I didn't work this hard to give up now?! I didn't fight for those grades to half-heartedly finish and end with an average letter at the top of my final grade sheet. No! It's time to get ourselves in gear and finish strong. Thank heavens my mother drilled into me: "You are what you read," because I have recently been finishing: How to be a Hepburn in a Hilton World (an amazing read, really and truly) and came across some motivational people to inspire and whip me into the girl I need to be. I hope it does the same for you (male or female).
Enjoy:
1. Venus and Serena Williams:
These two dynamic sisters have taken the tennis world by storm. What you may not know about them is that they started, literally, from the bottom. Raised in one of the most violent neighborhoods in the country, Compton, these two girls have shown the world that hard work and determination can turn anyone successful. At an early age, their sister was killed by a gang member in South LA. Although, fighting all odds these two sisters decided to change their stories by making their goals, realities. Practicing day and night to achieve their dreams.
2. Audrey Hepburn
My obsession continues, readers. I know you've heard me mention this one's name multiple times. Although, what intrigues me so much about Audrey is her motivational story. Before this beauty was dropping jaws and winning Grammys, she was surviving World War II in her small Dutch village, overrun by Nazis. Not only did she hide out for weeks under her kitchen table, but was also only accompanied by her mother during this time since her father chose to support Hitler, taking all of their family savings and leaving Audrey and her mother behind. Instead of getting bitter about her situation, Audrey decided to use her hardships for ammunition in her life. After her and her mother escaped and moved to London, Audrey pushed herself hard to grace the London ballet stage where she ended up being picked up by a Hollywood manager. My favorite quote by Audrey for when I feel like I can not take another step is: "I worked my ass off."
3. Ivanka Trump
I know what you're thinking. And, yes, I do know Ivanka Trump is. Although, what you might not know about this hotel heiress is her incredible work ethic despite the money her family has. She had this to say when a TV hostess joked about her father's money: "I work 13-hour days for my money...I have a mortgage you know. I think we are totally different individuals..If I were to go off the rails and become this party kid, I would not be able to afford my lifestyle. I've never had a sense of entitlement. I saw how hard my father worked for his money and it was always made very clear to me that things wouldn't just be given to me."
So, here's the deal. Whether you started with nothing, or started with it all, isn't it time to finish strong? I once heard a quote that said "Whatever gardens you invest time and work into, can always be harvested at some time down the road--always." So as this school year comes to a close, let's give it all we've got. Then, look back, completely satisfied with the way we finished another chapter of our lives.
XX,
Claire
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